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January 22 2018



Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particular bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while lying face down in the dirt

From my close observation of writers… they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review. - Isaac Asimov

January 18 2018




parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”

me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”

my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”

this never changes no matter how old you are

#one time I literally broke my leg










Goethe-Institut did a web series a while back aimed at new arrivals in Germany and I like how it make sure to teach people that a lot of Germans are rude af

like, this is a genuine scene from an ep:

#Ok but for a second there I was like #this is a bit exaggerated #it’s not that rude to say hi to strangers #just a bit weird #but then I realised #the rude person is probably meant to be the one ignoring the ‘hi' 

Well she’s obviously doing it wrong. You got to mumble “Guten Tag” in no one’s actual direction upon entering the waiting room. Then you don’t speak a word (you gotta grab a magazine though, because if you’re on your mobile people will find that asocial) until the doctor calls you and when you get back to retrieve your jacket you mumble “Auf Wiedersehen”.

If you say “Guten Tag” while sitting down it’s either because you’re passive-aggressively shaming the person you’re talking to for not saying “Guten Tag” (which is of course highly respectable, but weird if they did say it) or worse: 

You’re trying to make small-talk.

See also: when entering a crowded bus, tram, subway or train, you do not say a single word. You look for an empty bench. If there are none, you will have a neighbour. You stop at an empty spot and mumble something like “tschulli-ng” or “s-nch-frei?” to the person occupying the other spot on the bench. You nod in an upward direction. They reply a mumbled “türlich” while vaguely looking somewhere near your face and moving their bag if neccessary. You sit down, nod gratefully, and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ride. Neither of you wanted this. You wanted freedom. Don’t bother each other.

If an entire bench in front of you becomes available at the next stop, though, it is not the polite thing to free your neighbour and yourself up. No, you stay right where you are. The silent stranger next to you is your silent stranger now.

Welcome to Germany. This is how we express love.

None of these people are joking.

And if you’re the one sitting at the window and you want to get off at the next stop, you begin to loudly rustle with your bag whatever, because that way you can signal the other person that you need them to get up without having to speak to them.

This is normal in Ireland as well, at least for anyone under 40 commuting

actually it depends on what part of ireland you are in because first impression I had of Irish people is that they are more open in almost everything they do

strangers smile at you

people talk to the bus driver and thank them when they leave the bus

and they do apologize (It’s weird that they apologize but at least they say something) when they want to get up from their seat

I was so confused at first that random people from school that I don’t know would talk to me (I’m talking about different classes and years)

In rush hour on a packed train it’s normal like, the less urban you go the more sociable it gets

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Texts From Superheroes

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courtship rituals


i don’t know if it is because i have been watching period dramas, but i have suddenly got it into my head that it is really fun to consider the different wars star wars characters would express romance. think about it: they come from very different societies, and very different cultures, and rey ‘raised by sand’ rey is going to think romance means something very different to poe ‘’in a committed relationship with rebellion’ dameron, or leia ‘had protocol hammered into her from a young age’ organa, or anakin ‘what is healthy relationship’ skywalker. and i find the idea of these cultures/rituals clashing absolutely fascinating. 

to take a well-tested (and still fucking adorable) example: rey has spent her entire adult life on the brink of starvation, in a desert planet where only the strong survive, where your worth is completely dependent on the work you can do. on jakku giving food and water to someone was a sign of bone-deep commitment and adoration. for like a straight week she thought that everyone in the Resistance was hitting on her and she was both flattered and terrified. I’m not that pretty, she said to bb-8 in private, and went half insane trying to keep track of the various debts she thought that she was accruing (jakku has a very complicated economy of favours and debts that one has to balance if one wants to avoid grievous bodily harm). it takes her a while to calm down. she hits on finn by giving him half her lunch every day. finn does not understand, because stormtroopers always share everything; it is part of being in a unit. there’s no real privacy in the first order. (this attitude almost costs him an arm when he goes to raid rey’s secret stash of moisturizer – he learns quickly and violently that one does not just take things from a half-feral scavenger from a hell planet). for the same reason, finn is oblivious to the significance of The Jacket. Stormtrooeprs always share kit. (for what its worth, troopers flirt via an intricate series of tiny body movements and finn is constantly vexed by his intended target’s – poe or rey or both, he still can’t work out precisely which – complete obliviousness because his fingers have been splayed open like that for ages surely everyone knows that this means i would hold your hand if it wasn’t for regulation)

and i see tattooine as pretty mercenary about courtship: you have to prove that you are a good provider before anyone will want to pair-bond with you. when luke was fifteen and intent on getting into biggs’ bed he killed four krayt dragons over the course of four weeks, skinned them, and dumped both skin and meat in biggs’ larder. biggs had only consented to luke’s advances after the fifth dragon; and he had pretended that he wasn’t impressed, because that’s what the one being pursued is meant to do (tattooine is an ancient planet with long-held rules that don’t always make sense but everyone keeps to them; tradition is important; and oh how stifling it is to farmboys who dream of the stars – ). this stringent idea about courtship really really stilted luke’s flirtations with leia (thank the Force for that!) because he couldn’t work out if he should be the aggressor, or if she should be: she was of higher status, but seemed disinclined to commence courtship; but she kept flirting, needling away, and that was something briggs used to do, taunt him about being shite at flying and hunting. then again, leia did that to han as well. and han! corellian courtship is the simplest thing in the world, and he’s just so confused when luke drops a dead rathtar outside the falcon one day and grins, blood all over his hands. or when leia, raised to believe that it is improper to display overt affection, shorts at him for ten straight minutes over him using her conditioner – because when you get a girl full of fury and try to get her to be a diplomat you tend to get random outbursts, like too much energy stuffed into too small a space.

(han’s directness baffles the obtuse skywalker twins; but they work it out, in their own way)

anyway: thoughts? what does romance mean to different characters?

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I always approve of ladies having a chill time with dragons. Who needs to be a damsel in distress?
artist unknown

Art source:
Dragon Resting Its Head On The Lap Of A Woman - R. Leinweber (1912)

I love this picture because the body language (human and draconic) reminds me so much of when the dog decides she really, really needs to be at least half in my lap while I’m chilling with my computer.

Like, the dragon is all I adore you so much please pet behind my ears please and the lady is just sigh fine you always do this and I was going to get up for a glass of water but I guess I kind of love you too.

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It’s a cute little thing though.

Sometimes it is hard to remember that owls are incredibly dangerous predators seen by cultures throughout  the world as ill omens. Especially when they look like toasted marshmallows.

My boss once described them as flying pillows filled with seething hatred.






the best pranks are the super harmless ones

like why would you pull someones pants down in public or like put them in danger or humiliate them when you can just baffle them by leaving tiny plastic camels all over their house or taping bill cosby’s face over every single face in  every picture in their house?

Last year the seniors had a mariachi band follow the principle for 3 hours

Confuse, don’t abuse ;)


The best prank I ever pulled was to a college roommate. April 1st was approaching, and I told my roommate that I was going to prank him. He responded that he had classes that morning and afternoon and a gaming group that night and that we wouldn’t even see each other that day. I responded that his room wasn’t going anywhere. He said he would just lock his room and there was nothing I could do about it.

What he didn’t know is that I had a key to his room.

So, on the evening of April 1, I unlocked his door, left it barely ajar, and did absolutely nothing else.

When my roommate got back that night, I heard him go to his door, say “oh no” in a horrified way, and carefully enter his room.

He then spent a good hour searching his room (fruitlessly, obvs) for pranks.

I’ll never do better than that.

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James Merry’s Embroidery

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take a note fellas, chicks dont want dick pics. we want gundams

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The Chrises are killing me

He’s having an existential Chrisis

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